You may have seen the video of the Alaska women who poured hot sauce down the throught of her adopted child and then placed him in a cold shower in order to control him. She said she just did not know what to do to control the child.
We are in trouble if our main goal is controlling our children. What we need to do is train them and develop their character. If this is our goal our methods will be much different. We will use methods that help our children chose to do the right thing. We will have clear boundaries and consistently teach the child to stay within them. Character development rather than control should be our goal.